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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24938506">Dinner Date + Comms + Double-Cross + Conversation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Mac + Desi + Zayn [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MacGyver (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual!Desi, Mission Fic, Multi, Pansexual!Mac, Polyamory, The World is Saved, The only reason this is rated T is for a lot of sex jokes and comments, They finally have a damn conversation, nonbinary OC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:21:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24938506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac and Desi can't be normal. But that's not a bad thing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)/Original Character(s), Angus MacGyver/Desiree "Desi" Nguyen, Desiree "Desi" Nguyen/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Mac + Desi + Zayn [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1374475</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dinner Date + Comms + Double-Cross + Conversation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were bright lights in Desi’s eyes and she was being quizzed on fake details about her relationship with Mac and she was <em>not</em> happy, even when the interrogation was over and Bozer and Taylor entered the room with Zayn following behind. Especially considering that it continued to be a barrage of insults and criticism.</p>
<p>Russ sighed. “Just remember your cover and act like a couple.”</p>
<p>“We are a couple,” Desi protested.</p>
<p>“A <em>normal</em> couple,” Bozer insisted.</p>
<p>Desi snorted, and Zayn mimicked her derisive sound. They crossed their arms, frustrated. “I still don’t see why I can’t go with them.” They blew out a breath. “I love them to death, but you all <em>know</em> it would be smoother with me there. I help moderate their whole ‘the world is always burning’ mentality.”</p>
<p>“Because,” Russ explained, with the exhaustion of someone who’s had this conversation before, “Aubrey has made reservations for four, not five, and Riley has talked about Mac and Desi repeatedly, within the context of dating. And not you.”</p>
<p><em>And we don’t know if he’ll be cool about the existence of your third,</em> Desi added ruefully in her brain. No one ever said it out loud, though. At the very least, she and Zayn were aware of it, even if the others weren’t.</p>
<p>Bozer and Russ left, but Zayn stayed, appraising Mac and Desi.</p>
<p>“Don’t let them get in your head,” they cautioned. </p>
<p>Mac snorted. “Too late,” he muttered under his breath.</p>
<p>“Look, forget normal for a hot second.” Zayn pulled a small box out of their pocket, the kind you’d keep expensive jewelry in, popping it open. “Ta-dah. Comms. Discreet and impossible to notice, but allowing you both to stay in contact with me the entire time, if you want.”</p>
<p>Desi looked at Mac. They wore twin expressions of confusion and amusement. </p>
<p>“It’s only if you think it’ll keep you calm and/or make things go smoother.” Zayn was fidgeting, trying not to drop the box as they skated their fingers across the box. “I just...I know that I have a calming effect. But you don’t have to,” they added nervously.</p>
<p>Desi wanted it. Very much. “No, I’ll take it.” Mac nodded. “Yeah, it’s not normal, but it’s sweet of you.”</p>
<p>They both reached out and took the comms, and then Zayn was dragging Desi to her feet. “Okay, two hours to get ready. You’re picking her up at our place, right Mac?” He nodded. “Cool. See you then.” And then they rushed her home for the fairy godmother treatment.</p>
<p>Desi managed to convince Zayn to take a shower with her while she got ready, earning herself some casual, grounding intimacy and general warmth. She loved showering together; it was one of the calmest, easiest parts of any day. She loved hands on wet skin, and the way Zayn fit against her body, and the way they’d kiss the tattoos along her collarbones. It was bliss.</p>
<p>After the shower, Zayn put on their favorite pajama pants, green flannel which had once belonged to their grandfather, and a loose t-shirt; Desi put on a coral jumpsuit. </p>
<p>“You look spectacular, Des,” they whispered, pressing feather-light kisses along her neck. “Stunning.”</p>
<p>It was very tempting to say ‘fuck the double date’ and just stay home, but she knew Zayn wouldn’t let her. Instead, she had Zayn curl her hair and do her makeup, pausing only to leave a berry stained lip print on their cheek.</p>
<p>Zayn looked at her all soft and said, “Thanks,” like the ritual didn’t soothe her and make her happy too. “Can I take a couple pictures?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Desi grinned. She sprawled out on the couch. “However many you want, baby.”</p>
<p>Zayn chuckled. “I mean, you need to leave for the restaurant eventually. So not quite that many.”</p>
<p>It felt like too soon she had to leave, dropping a kiss onto Zayn’s head and putting in the comm. Her anxiety was spiking already as she climbed in the passenger’s seat of Mac’s truck, and she really wanted to bail and stay home and watch a movie.</p>
<p>They spent a fair bit of the drive in awkward silence. </p>
<p>“You look...nice,” Mac told her.</p>
<p>“So do you.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>Desi was pretty sure she could feel Zayn cringing from all the way across town. Instead, they just whispered, “Oh my god.”</p>
<p>Then Mac hit the radio, putting on his 80s pump-up jams, and Desi heard an even more emphatic, “<em>Oh my god</em>.” She couldn’t help but agree.</p>
<p>She turned the music off. “You’re nervous, that’s your mission pump-up music,” she pointed out, maybe a little sharper than she needed to. </p>
<p>“Okay, yes, I’m nervous. Russ...actually kind of got in my head back there.”</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes. “We’re a <em>normal couple.</em>” Zayn refrained from commenting. “We can handle one date.”</p>
<p>“What if the only thing that works for us is the adrenaline?” he asked. Desi’s heart dropped.</p>
<p>Luckily, Zayn’s derisive snort was there to catch it. “You’re being ridiculous.”</p>
<p>“No work, just a nice dinner with friends,” Desi tried, hearing the waver in her voice. She hated it. “And to prove it, we will leave our phones in the car.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we can do that.” Mac reached into his jacket pocket. “Oh, you know what? I see your phone and I raise you my swiss army knife.”</p>
<p>Zayn snorted again. “It’d save a lot of awkwardness later when you both reveal that you snuck something in if you didn’t do this now.”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Mac and Desi protested at the same time, sharing a glance. Desi had to admit Zayn had a point, though, because she had definitely intended to slip her phone into her ankle pocket.</p>
<p>“You know what we’re gonna do tonight?’ Desi decided. “Kick this date’s ass.” She laughed, and got a laugh from Mac in return, and a murmured assent.</p>
<p>“You’re both ridiculous,” Zayn intoned, somewhere between fond and weary.</p>
<p>“I feel like having us on two separate comm frequencies is ridiculous,” Desi shot back. “I feel like wearing comms on a date at all is ridiculous.”</p>
<p>“I mean, I don’t have to be here,” they offered. “I can just...go.”</p>
<p>“No,” Mac and Desi answered at the same time, just a touch too quickly. </p>
<p>God, how much did she rely on Zayn for everything?</p>
<p>“The two separate frequencies are so you two don’t hear yourselves twice. You both want to be able to hear me, that’s cool, but you don’t need a digital Mac and real life Mac saying the same things at a millisecond lag.”</p>
<p>Zayn had put...a surprising amount of thought into this. Desi was caught in the middle of being impressed and insulted that they felt this was necessary, but she reminded herself it clearly <em>was</em> necessary and she should just appreciate it.</p>
<p>When they walked in, the host asked, “Names, please?” and when Desi told him with a smile, he just looked at them patronizingly. “<em>Real</em> names, please.”</p>
<p>Zayn started cracking up. “God. I wonder where I fall in this guy’s head.”</p>
<p>“Those are our real names,” Mac explained after an awkward moment. </p>
<p>The host’s eyebrows went up to his nonexistent hairline, but he chose not to fight them. “Welcome, to La Belle Coul-yay.”</p>
<p>“That man can’t speak French to save his life,” Zayn complained. “There’s an ‘r’! It’s pronounced ‘kwee-yair!’ Cuillere!”</p>
<p>Mac and Desi shared a grin. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.</p>
<p>Or maybe it would. Mac couldn’t stop his radiating nervous energy or his ‘normal couple’ obsession, and Zayn and Desi snapped, “Stop saying that!” at the same time, which was the closest to relief she’d feel. </p>
<p>But the introduction to Aubrey was painfully awkward, and apparently Mac and Riley hadn’t gotten their covers straight - this elicited a pained gasp from Zayn - and this led to some fumbling. Desi was more than relieved to abscond to the bar, even if the bartender got their drinks wrong.</p>
<p>“People always mix up your drink order.” Zayn chuckled. “You’d think people would know Desi was a whiskey girl with just one look. And Mac’s fruity and fun.”</p>
<p>He flushed at that, which amused Desi. </p>
<p>Conversation did not improve. Riley and Aubrey were painfully cute, and Desi felt surprisingly jealous, especially of their standing date night. </p>
<p>“Do we have a thing?” she whispered to Mac. He looked back helplessly.</p>
<p>“Desi, baby, now is <em>not the time</em>,” Zayn hissed.</p>
<p>But then Mac was looking past her. “Do you see those guys over there? They’ve got comms and guns.”</p>
<p>Desi rolled her eyes. “<em>We</em> have comms.” So much for normal. “They’re probably just security, it’s a rough neighborhood.”</p>
<p>But they didn’t go away, and Mac kept being suspicious, and Desi kept wanting to not be.</p>
<p>“It’s ridiculous how attracted I am to your stupid bickering.” Zayn sighed. “Very unbecoming of me.”</p>
<p>“Did you hear what he heard?” Desi demanded.</p>
<p>Another exasperated sigh. “You know the comms aren’t that strong on receiving. Not to mention I was listening to two conversations at once. But I trust Mac.”</p>
<p>Desi bristled at the implication that she <em>didn’t</em>. It’s not that she didn’t trust him, it’s that she desperately wanted him to be wrong.</p>
<p>She excused herself to the ladies’ room as Riley came over to chat. “Sorry, Mac,” she whispered, pulling her phone out of the ankle pocket. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Zayn demanded. “Why are you sorry?”</p>
<p>Desi chewed on her lip. “You were right, I took my phone. I needed to send a picture and taunt Russ.” She had texted him a picture and gotten a response that made it all worth it.</p>
<p>She couldn’t see the eyeroll, but she heard it. “It’s fine, I guarantee Mac has his knife anyway.”</p>
<p>Desi was about to reply when she heard some muffled shouting and two silenced gunshots. “Babe?” she asked slowly. “Did you catch that?”</p>
<p>“I told you, reception on these comms is bad. Also Mac is being very sweet and vulnerable with a stranger the next table over and I really should prioritize one of these feeds when you’re not together but I’m afraid I’ll miss something valuable if I pick wrong.”</p>
<p>“You know, your inability to make a decision is hilariously on brand.”</p>
<p>Zayn groaned. “Desi, what did you hear?”</p>
<p>“Gunshots.”</p>
<p>They sucked in a breath. “Go get Mac.”</p>
<p>It took some convincing (and a couple of “Oh my fucking god”s from Zayn), but Desi managed to convince Mac she was serious, and they made a decent plan. Desi couldn’t help but feel a little proud as the woman’s purse caught fire.</p>
<p>“You two are nothing but trouble, and I cannot <em>believe</em> how into that I am,” Zayn groaned. “Okay, go, and tell me what you find.”</p>
<p>What they found was a bunch of hanging meat and just a little doubt on Desi’s part, but they kept following the trail. And then they found a body.</p>
<p>Desi discovered Riley and Aubrey were gone approximately two seconds before they got arrested. She was really fucking tired of things going wrong tonight; she should’ve stayed home and watched that movie.</p>
<p>Then again, if she did, Riley and Aubrey might not have anyone coming after them.</p>
<p>“Can you get yourselves out of there?” Zayn was asking. “I’m texting Russ to let him know what’s up, but…”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can,” Mac whispered. “Just trust me.” And then he started a fight.</p>
<p>Desi was pissed for the minute before she figured out what he was doing, and then she was kind of impressed. It was hard to keep a straight face while Zayn giggled in the background, throwing in, “Rick and Morty isn’t good, though!” but she managed, and then they were knocking out cops. That didn’t feel right. They were supposed to knock out the bad guys. But also -</p>
<p>“Dammit, it’s happening again…” Desi winced, feeling the heat in her stomach as Mac undid the handcuffs and turned her around.</p>
<p>“Are you as turned on as I am?” Mac asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” She used his suit jacket to yank him close and kiss him, hard and hungry. It was easy to get lost in it, in his hands on her waist, and all her doubts were suddenly chased away.</p>
<p>It was Zayn’s voice that brought her back to the present. “Oh my <em>god</em>, you two, focus!”</p>
<p>“Right. Sorry.” The two pulled apart and straightened themselves out. </p>
<p>“I swear I’ll go down on both of you when you get home if you just <em>get it together</em> and finish the - it wasn’t supposed to be but I guess it is now. Finish the mission!.”</p>
<p>Desi liked the thought more than she expected to. So did Mac, if his blush was anything to go by.</p>
<p>His phone buzzed with a text. It was from Riley, with all the relevant information. </p>
<p>“Give me the details, I’ll call Russ,” Zayn directed. “You two drive, and don’t get detained again.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Things had not gone as smoothly as she would’ve preferred. Desi was pretty sure this was the worst date she’d ever gone on, ending on Riley’s couch surrounded by guns and the Chinese Mafia.</p>
<p>Zayn was still on the comms, which was a small mercy. They weren’t saying much - Desi heard clicks and perhaps the sound of motors. It was the only proof she had that backup was on its way.</p>
<p>For now, she had to sit there, listening to these two shout at each other. She wondered if she and Mac had ever been that bad. Probably. But she was pretty sure they weren’t now.</p>
<p>Mac stood up abruptly and she thought of smacking him. Maybe that sentiment deserved a reevaluation.</p>
<p>“Look. I get it. I do. Relationships are hard.” He was walking <em>towards</em> the people with guns, spouting his self-assured nonsense, and Desi was both angry and confused. “Sometimes we lie to ourselves, say that everything’s okay. But sometimes the trust that we once had is gone forever.”</p>
<p>Desi saw Riley glance at Aubrey, but she was more distracted but the frustrated hissing in her ear from Zayn. “You’re so full of shit, MacGyver.”</p>
<p>“But sometimes, no matter how much you want to be with someone, you just can’t seem to make it work.” He sighed.</p>
<p>Desi didn’t think she’d be getting her heart out of the pit of her stomach tonight. She heard an uneven pattern of breath and a low whine; Mac wouldn’t know it, but she knew Zayn was trying not to cry. Desi couldn’t blame them.</p>
<p>Jennifer Kwak had a much less teary response. “Hey, Doctor Phil. Sit down or I’ll blow off both your kneecaps. How much longer?” she snapped at Riley.</p>
<p>“Oh. Um. Uh.” Riley made one of the least convincing faces Desi had ever seen and said, “Two more minutes.”</p>
<p>“Final warning.” The Mob Boss waved her weapon.</p>
<p>Mac had been studying the room. It was obvious to Desi that he’d found something, but fuck if she knew what. “One last piece of advice,” he offered. Zayn groaned. “In any relationship...in the immortal words of my favorite pump-up jam…” Desi was <em>really</em> not getting this. “You have to...Get. Your Booty. On. The Floor.” A dramatic pause, through which Desi heard Zayn laughing wetly. “Tonight. Eva! Lights out!”</p>
<p>Desi hit the ground, and the room erupted into chaos. </p>
<p>Mac made a flamethrower, because of course he did, but she couldn’t appreciate it for very long amidst the swinging fists and avoiding guns.</p>
<p>When Riley turned the lights back on, Aubrey was holding the gun, leveled at Kwak herself. Desi was mildly impressed. </p>
<p>“Who the hell <em>are</em> you people?” he demanded.</p>
<p>Desi was saved from having to answer by the LAPD busting down the door. And oh man, they were probably <em>not</em> happy about her and Mac assaulting two of their officers.</p>
<p>“If you just call my boss, he’ll explain everything,” Mac began, looking around warily.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry! They already have.” Taylor looked far too smug waltzing in after the cops, but what caught Desi’s eye was the little blur of red curls and plaid flannel ducking under his arm.</p>
<p>“Desi!” Zayn barrelled into her, but she caught them easily.</p>
<p>“I made quite a convincing case for your innocence,” Russ promised. “In spite of you not inviting me to dinner.”</p>
<p>“I missed you,” Zayn whispered. “I know it’s stupid, I was basically with you the whole time, but I did.”</p>
<p>Desi rubbed the sleeves of their denim jacket, the only thing they appeared to have thrown on before running out. “I missed you, too,” she promised.</p>
<p>Then, straightening out, they turned to Aubrey and stuck out a hand. “Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Desi’s other partner.”</p>
<p>If possible, his eyes grew even wider. Desi felt bad for Riley needing to explain all this, but not bad enough to stay.</p>
<p>Mac had offered to drive them both home, like a gentleman. Zayn had opted to sit in the back seat, behind the two, like they usually did. Desi could tell they were relieved to just be close.</p>
<p>“You know why tonight went wrong?” Zayn mused. Desi winced. “Because you didn’t let Desi drive, Mac.”</p>
<p>That got a faint laugh from both of them, but Desi still felt sick. Mac pulled up in front of her apartment, but she didn’t get out. Zayn didn’t either.</p>
<p>“I was thinking about what you said,” Desi confessed. “No matter how much you want to be with someone, you can’t seem to make it work.” She looked up from her lap at him and willed back the teary eyes. She was not teary. This was...this was true. This was necessary. “We’ve had a lot of chances, haven’t we?”</p>
<p>She heard a disbelieving noise from the backseat. It was weird doing this calmly, in a car, in front of Zayn this time.</p>
<p>Mac nodded ruefully. “Yeah. Seems like we’re only really good when things are really bad.”</p>
<p>She didn’t know what that meant. She didn’t want to know. </p>
<p>“That’s <em>such</em> bullshit.” Zayn leaned forward to get between them. “Remember the Aquarium? Remember going to the beach, planning trips, going to the fair and Mac winning you that stupid giant dog from that super rigged carnival game?”</p>
<p>Desi did remember. She remembered each one of those fondly, especially the aquarium. </p>
<p>“Yeah, but...we’re just not normal,” Mac pointed out. </p>
<p>Zayn started laughing at that one. “Are you fucking kidding me?”</p>
<p>Both of them turned around at that one. “What?”</p>
<p>“Angus MacGyver, you are in a relationship with a woman who has another partner. You two travel around the world and save lives. You’re a genius science wizard and she’s a badass fighter and I’m so fucking lucky to know both of you. <em>Of course</em> you’re not normal; you were never going to be, from the start.”</p>
<p>When they put it like that, Desi had to agree that the points were pretty starkly illustrated.</p>
<p>“Maybe that can be our thing,” Mac suggested tentatively. “I mean, who wants to be a normal, boring, static couple, anyway?”</p>
<p>He was grinning, and it made Desi’s heart lift.</p>
<p>“And yeah, you two are both insane and you amp each other up and get into so much trouble,” Zayn began. Desi flinched a little. “But you can work together when you need to, and you also...you also have me to keep you steady.” Their voice dropped off at the end, like they weren’t quite sure they mattered. </p>
<p>Desi chuckled. “And I don’t know what we’d do without you. Your running commentary made the whole date better.”</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Mac agreed. Desi shot him a smile. </p>
<p>“Park here, Mac.” Desi wasn’t sure what Zayn meant, because he was already parked. “Stay tonight. I’ll make hot cocoa and we can finally have that relationship conversation you two have been putting off because you’re afraid of something like this. And however it goes, there’s a spare room, and I’d be happy to stay in it if you don’t want me-”</p>
<p>“We always want you,” Mac promised before Desi even had a chance. That earned a grateful grin. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. That’s a good idea.” </p>
<p>The three of them exited the car and climbed the single flight of stairs. Zayn, being the one with pockets, got the keys out fastest and ushered the two of them inside. </p>
<p>“You’re both overdressed,” they declared. “It’s pajama time.”</p>
<p>Desi gave them a meaningful look. “Seems like it’s been pajama time for awhile for you.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, well, I didn’t expect to go out tonight, and then I didn’t really have time to change.” Zayn shoved their hands in the pockets of their green flannel pajama pants. “That doesn’t change the fact I never want Russel Taylor to see me in my pajamas again. Now shoo.” As Desi and Mac headed down the hall, Zayn added as an afterthought, “And don’t start having sex until <em>after</em> we have this conversation!”</p>
<p>“Okay, <em>Mom</em>!” Desi shouted back, laughing, and then she and Mac dug pajamas out of drawers and he was definitely wearing a pair of Zayn’s pants because they were just a smidgen short on him, his extra inches accommodated because the pants were incredibly long on them. She was curious if he’d done it on purpose, but she didn’t want to point it out and ask.</p>
<p>When she returned to the living room, with three waiting mugs of cocoa on the table, she realized the shirt Zayn was wearing used to be Mac’s, too. It was cute on them.</p>
<p>“Sit.” Zayn patted the couch. Desi sat on one side of them and Mac on the other. “Okay! It’s time to actually talk about the relationship!” They clapped their hands. “First of all, you <em>want</em> to be together, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes, of course,” Mac answered without hesitation, which made Desi annoyingly soft. She nodded in agreement, sipping her cocoa. It was prepared exactly to her liking: with cinnamon and a mile-high mountain of whipped cream.</p>
<p>Zayn smiled. “Perfect. So stop trying to jump ship! Act like it, for god’s sake.” They glanced back and forth rapidly between the two. “Hm. This setup is not ideal.”</p>
<p>Before Desi could ask what they meant, they’d already turned around and sat their butt on the coffee table, facing the two on the couch.</p>
<p>“Okay,” they continued. “What does being together look like to you? What do you want out of a relationship?”</p>
<p>Mac didn’t know what they meant, clearly, but Zayn had made Desi go through this before. “I want a weekly date night,” she said, before she could think too hard about it. “Like Riley and Aubrey. We don’t have to go out, just...do something special.” She didn’t want to be anxious, and it was totally a normal thing to ask for, but already it felt like asking a lot. She licked some whipped cream off the top of her mug and scolded herself to calm down.</p>
<p>Mac took a deep breath. “Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” Desi sent up a silent thanks.</p>
<p>Zayn fidgeted. “Do you want to make sure there’s something exclusively for the two of you?” They asked, not quite meeting Desi’s eyes.</p>
<p>Desi looked at Mac to gauge his reaction. “I mean, I think it should still count if you’re around,” she offered, and Mac nodded in agreement. “We like having you with us. You’re not intruding.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” They smiled, looking a bit more relaxed. “What else? Mac?”</p>
<p>“Uh, I dunno.” He still didn’t seem quite sure what the question was, taking a long sip of cocoa to think. “I want - kissing? Hand-holding and cuddling and sex?”</p>
<p>Zayn smiled reassuringly. “That’s good! Those are good answers.” They stopped short, then gazed off into the distance. “Should I be writing this down?”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, no,” Desi laughed. “I think we’re good, you melodramatic ho.” </p>
<p>The two of them had talked once, about how Zayn didn’t particularly like being called Drama Queen/King; they told Desi that ‘ho’ was a good gender neutral alternative, which never failed to make her smile thinking about.</p>
<p>Zayn held up their hands in mock surrender. “Just checking! Okay, keep going.”</p>
<p>“Talk to me,” Desi said. It was easier now, to think about what she liked having with Zayn and what she wanted from Mac. “Don’t push me away. I want to know what’s up inside your head. I know I’m bad at emotions but - I’ll try, for you. You need to try too.”</p>
<p>Mac nodded. “Yeah, I’m - Cheryl says I’m getting better at that,” he offered sheepishly. “Allowing myself to depend on other people.”</p>
<p>Desi snorted. “Well, it’s about damn time.”</p>
<p>“I want to be able to talk, too. Without it turning into a fight.” Mac swallowed nervously, looking at her. “Can you - can you try not to assume the worst? That if I say something that sounds bad, I’m just an idiot, not trying to hurt you? Or them,” he added, tilting his chin at Zayn. “I get it, you want to look out for them, and I know I’ll never be as important to you as they are -”</p>
<p>That made Desi’s heart flip and got a concerned frown out of Zayn, so she cut him off. “No. That’s not - that’s not true.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t fair to you, but the more I got hurt, the less I wanted to risk it. They’re - we’ve been together awhile. I just know I’ll be okay with them.”</p>
<p>She hadn’t really realized he assumed he’d always be second place for her. She only ever thought about protecting herself, not how it must look from the outside.</p>
<p>“Behavioral psych.” Mac tilted his head with another sheepish smile. “I conditioned you into avoiding me. And I didn’t - I didn’t care, because it was all pain either way, and I didn’t like the person I was with you. Or the person I was at all.”</p>
<p>“Me neither,” Desi confessed. “I like how we argue and needle each other. You drive me absolutely insane.” She was pretty sure that was part of the attraction. “But it went too far. It wasn’t fun anymore.”</p>
<p>Mac smiled softly. “I like that you tease. I like that you annoy me to death. It’s when you’re <em>not</em> being obnoxious that I worry.”</p>
<p>Desi grinned. “Looks like I trained you, too.”</p>
<p>“Looks like it.” Mac turned his head to Zayn. “How’d we do?”</p>
<p>Desi wondered suddenly if tonight was going to be the night that the two of them figured it all out. They were certainly gazing at each other with enough adoring intensity. </p>
<p>“I should’ve been taking notes.” Zayn stuck their tongue out at Desi and she leaned forward to poke it. “No, you both did very well. It basically boils down to wanting openness about thoughts and feelings, and wanting more peace, and wanting to feel valued.”</p>
<p>Desi reached out to grab Mac’s hand. “I promise you’re just as important to me as Zayn is.”</p>
<p>He flushed, and gave a little grimace. “I feel like I shouldn’t be, though.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Her brows knit. This was a new one.</p>
<p>“I just - they’re better than me,” he started, focusing intently on his half-drunk cocoa. “They haven’t fucked up and hurt you like I have. And they’ve been around longer. So I would understand, if they were more important.”</p>
<p>It was Zayn who spoke up, which was good, because Desi wasn’t remotely sure where to start with that one. There were a lot of feelings to untangle and - </p>
<p>“That’s not how it works,” Zayn offered softly. “It’s not...numerical, or sensical, or anything. You want to pursue the same kind of relationship with Desi that I have, and you love her like I do. Heart just decides ‘you matter’ and then you can’t escape.” They gave a crooked grin. “And you matter to me, too.”</p>
<p>This had to be it. It had to. Her lips curled and she sipped her cocoa, waiting for Mac or Zayn to make the first move, but they just stared lovingly at each other until Zayn let out a big yawn.</p>
<p>“Should we go to bed?” Mac asked, looking at them in concern. “It’s been a long day.”</p>
<p>Not tonight. Desi was surprised, to say the least, but she’d also promised herself that she would let the two of them figure it out on their own. “Yeah, let’s sleep.”</p>
<p>“I can take the guest room,” Mac offered. </p>
<p>Desi almost let it be, but they’d all just promised to communicate honestly about their desires. “Come to bed with us,” she asked. “I want both of you.”</p>
<p>And she got it, curled up between Mac and Zayn. It was even better than she could have imagined.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Is this how comms work? Hell if I know, I have a high school level understanding of radio frequency.<br/><em>I swear to god writers let these two communicate and stop having them try to break up with each other every five second</em>. A mediating third party is a good idea.<br/>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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